Neko

Salam..

It has been a long time.. so sorry for that. When there's more thing to do and to think, and to give more attention to, you will know yourself how to arrange it according to its priority.. err... no, it's not just an excuse! ..err..

well, sedar tak sedar, dah nak masuk 2 tahun i've been a wife ( and nearly 2 years i've been silent from writing..huhu).. and nearly 1 year i've became a mother. NOt long enuff, yes, I agreed. But i'm learning along the way.. so many things i've learnt so far, and so many things i've never expected to be.

Sebelum ni I think life is easy, I mean in 'my sense' of easy: belajar ilmu agama, amal ilmu agama, buat yang wajib, tinggal yang dilarang, cuba buat yang sunat, jaga hati ibu bapa, jaga hati orang lain, ikut peraturan, jangan ponteng kelas, jangan ponteng keje, jaga diri sendiri, perbaiki diri sendiri...diri sendiri...diri sendiri..diri sendiri....!!

Tapi bila dah kawen, things changes. I have to think about others, despite of think about myself in the way of making decisions, making improvement, in the way of betterment... about everything lah! and it's difficult. Emm.. very difficult in the beginning.. and I'm now still learning .

And when I'm becoming a mother, things keep changing. It's totally not only ME to make decision, it's US (me and my hubby). No such things of ME ME ME and ME anymore!! uhuuhh... and i'm trying to adapt to it.. because before i got married, i've always in my mind, i want my child to be like this ..like this..like this.. and now, i'm only one of my daughter parents. There's another one. We are a company.. we should work together.. huhu.. hopefully i can apply what i've planned before well enough..

And I've dare thought to quit my job when my baby just few months old..  which i never thought of it before she arrived. And of course it startled both of my parents! Both of them menentang habis2an.. iye lah, dah berpuluh2 ribu habis nak suh aku blajar jadi doktor, last2 sesedap rasa je kata nak quit.. hehe. Tapi, I later revealed that most of my friends that already married and had a child will feel that way as well, so... it's not only me who seems emotional duh, it's the natural feeling of becoming a mother and the will to give the best for our children. Tapi nasib baik tak jadi berenti, olok2 je tu.. (sebab tak habis lagi kontrak ngan JPa.. sapa pulak nak bayar nanti? hehe).... lagi pun bila my baby dah besar sikit, dah tak breastfeeding dah, ok dah sikit rasa. But now I think i'll not proceed with my ambition to become an OnG specialist. I'm not so happy to be oncalling and leave my children behind, even though i may be proud and happy to treat the mothers over there. May be I should persue my study on basic science instead, perhaps?... hmm... still under planning,..

Well, anyway, lots of things will happen onwards.. I'm so glad that I marry my man.. and i've learnt a lot from him about life. Life is actually the best teacher. And Life will be a happy one if you live this life happily... dan tak lupa.. hidup kita bukan hanya untuk hidup, tapi hidup kita adalah sebagai bekal untuk mati sahaja.

wallahua'lam. Semoga mendapat manfa'at.