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"Dan orang-orang
yang apabila telah melakukan perbuatan keji
atau menganiayai diri mereka sendiri,
mereka ingat kepada Allah,
lalu memohon ampun atas dosa-dosanya.

Dan siapakah lagi
yang akan mengampuni dosa
selain daripada Allah?

Dan mereka tidak meneruskan
perbuatan yang buruk itu,
sedang mereka mengetahui."

(Surah Ali Imran:135)


[ *a*R*a*H*T*u*j*U*y*A*N*g*s*A*T*u *]

Neko




".......Andainya keyakinan itu telah mengisi hatimu maka engkau akan merasakan Akhirat itu lebih hampir padamu sebelum engkau melangkah kepadanya...dan keindahan dunia itu diselimuti oleh kesuraman sehinggakan tidak kelihatan lagi....Andai mana hatimu diisi keyakinan...." "





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Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Melangkah ke hadapan

Bismillah

Today is the 48th day i'm in maternity leave... also it's already nearly 50 days after my second child passed away.

My second baby was a girl... born premature 29 week, 1.4 kg.

I want to remember her that's why i write it here.

It happened one night, about 4 am when i was sleeping, i felt a leak of fluid came out during sleeping. It terrified me as initially I thought I've got urine incontinence.. but after a few minutes, I felt a gush of fluid came out. I tried to hold it, but i can't. Panic jugak...memang betul2 ingat urine. Tapi, tak de rasa nak PU pun..

Then i went to the toilet.... but urine just came out a lititle. Then after that i suspected something not right... may be it's liquour? amniotic fluid.. org melayu kata pecah ketuban. Then i triedl to smell the fluid in the room that wet the sselimut..yes, it smells like liquour!  I woke up my hubby and told him. He smelled.. yeah, liquor! and he panicked.

Anyway, I suggest to perform Subuh prayer first before going to the hospital.... and it already only 1 hour before Subuh. And i didn't worry much as i have no labour symptoms at all, and no urinary tract infection symptoms as well- that commonly cause leaking liquour.

My hubby amek EL. Pegi hospital... amik high vaginal swab,  check Os.. closed, alhamdulillah. Fetal heart good. Fetal kick, present. Cuma bila buat scan, AFI nearly zero. Liquour hampir habis semua keluar. IM Dexamethasone injected... OUCH!! SAKIT! Tab Erythromycin given to cover for any infection.

18 Feb 09, Rabu, Kul 7.30, masuk wad. Betapa boringnye jadik patient.. baru tahu! Nasib baik dpt bilik single kat wad 12 tu.. ada bilik air sendiri kat dalam. Bebas la sket, tak de la rasa open air sangat. Boleh la bukak2 tudung jugak bila line clear..

Sepanjang hari tu, liquour still leak 1/2- 1 pad each shift. Specialist Dr Nik Azrita datang round...kata don't worry, liquour can be produced back. Cuma kalau sign of infection- abd pain ke, foul smelly discharge kena inform. Yang penting contraction pain kalau ada kena inform jugak, sbb nak tocolize ( inject medication to stop the contraction). Masa tu dah ada irregular, mild abd tightening, but no pain. So she said not to worry yet until pain present. OK la. lagi pun rasa cam mengeras sikit2 je.. sikit sangat, sampai was2, betul ke contraction ni? Jd ok lah, not to worry yet..

T. EES changed to IV antibiotics... IV flagyl tds ngan cefuroxime BD. Kul 8 mlm another injection of Dexa was given.. OUCH! again..  nasib baik dah complete 2 x je..

My hubby amek EL, tunggu malam tu. Tq dear.. tapi esoknya dia oncall.. sedih.

Esoknya 19 FEb.. initially everything goes well. FEtal kick..hmm.. present and active. liquour still leak same amount.. NO foul smelly discharge. No abd pain. No fever. Emm.. still irregular abd tightening. but no pain. not to worry. Hmm.. no specialist round today, only m.o with her h.o.m

My hubby sebelum subuh dah balik umah, tukar baju, nak kena pegi keja.. 1 hour journey.

Tengahari lunch hour umi and my sister Nana datang.. isk , rasa cam seram sejuk.. tak sedap badan pulak. Pastu rasa cam contraction pain kat suprapubic area.. rasa cam senggugut gitu. Tapi tak regular lagi.. tak pe lah kot. In the evening tu, dah became regular one in 15 min. Pastu badan rasa sejuk panas. Masa tu umi n nana dah balik. Nana kat nak datang malam..

Nasib baik masa nak solat maghrib, ayah ngoh n cik Ngoh datang. Pastu masa nurse datang amik observation tu, sy suh dia check temperature... yang sepatutnya tak perlu di suruh. Obviously in leaking liquour temperature should be taken 4 hourly to detect any raise of temp indicating of infection. All OnG staff should know that... or they think as i'm a doctor, i can detect the fever by myself, without the tools?
 
And there... the Temp was 38.9oC... and it raise to 40oC when I reach Labour room. The contraction up to 1:10 min. And I realised there was show (blood stained discharge- indicating labour progress) as well!

About half past 9pm, I  was pushed to the labour room. Masa tu memang dah rasa regular pain... and the pain was stronger more frequent from time to time.
Alhamdulillah again, one room available . Kalau tak kena la duk cubicle yang closed by curtain je..

M.o reviewed... contraction dah 2 in 10 min. moderate pain. Temp 40 degree.. fetal heart present. CTG.. humm susah nak detect 29 weeker fetal heart by CTG. Os dah 3 cm.. Ya Allah..selamatkan anak ku.. White cell count raised from 10 to 23 thousand.. that means infection going on.

After discussed with specialist, tak boleh nak tocolized sebab infection. instead, had to augment with pitocin.. aduih.. mesti sakit. Alhamdulillah ventilator ada for my baby.. the last one. My hubby called from Hkk, said he'll came back.

Half an hour after pitocin run 2ii per hour, the pain became unbearable and more frequent and i felt the urge to push. And when i raised my leg, my babby just slide out easily because of her small size. It's a baby girl! Tapi.. kenapa my baby look so blue? and hardly cry..  Apgar Score 6, 8. The staff nurse rushed my baby out the room to the resuscitation room. Masa tu my hubby arrived. Sempat dia intubate our new baby. That was 12.44 am on 20th of February. She was then pushed to NICU. Ventilated.



3 days after that, i was discharged from ward. Subhanallah no more fever observed after  i gave birth. Antibiotics changed to tablet to complete 10 days . . Alhamdulillah.
My baby.. still intubated, but no more sedated.. ventilator pun dah weaned down. Look like good improvement. NBM still, since there was aspiration from nasogastric tube. Tak boleh nak bagi breast feeding, tak boleh nak dukung, tak boleh nak cium.
Hanya boleh sentuh, tu pun lepas basuh tangan betul2.. untuk elakkan jangkitan kuman.  Nampak aktif bila kena sentuh..

Thanks to SN Maimun.. datang bg semangat, cerita yang dia pun pernah lahirkan anak premature 750gm.. MashaAllah. Dan sekarang anak dia dah besar. We both motivated after heard the story of her child. Everyday me and my hubby came to see our baby 2-3 times per day.


To be continued...




Posted at 4/7/2009 10:26:01 pm by dR RaJaMaR

 

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BisMiLLAh. DengaN NamA ALLAh.
In ThE NaMe oF ALLah.
AhLaN Wa SaHLaN!
WeLCoMe!
SeLamAT daTaNg!




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    Don't count the days
    by the leaves that fall
    by the rain that drops
    by the thunders that strikes


    Lets count life
    by the rainbow
    by the blooming flowers
    by the singing birds


    'cause life is precious
    and meaningful
    a gift from Allah
    The Almighty


    O Allah!
    We comes to you
    Calm these hearts
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    Apa yang ada
    Jarang di syukuri
    Apa yang tiada
    sering dirisaukan
    Nikmat yang di kecap
    barukan terasa
    Bila hilang

    Apa yang diburu
    Timbul rasa jemu
    bila sudah
    di dalam genggaman

    Dunia ibarat air laut
    Diminum hanya
    menambah haus
    Nafsu bagaikan
    fatamorgana
    Di padang pasir
    Panas yang membahang
    disangka air

    Dunia dan nafsu
    bagai bayang-bayang
    Dilihat ada
    ditangkap hilang

    TUHAN..
    leraikanlah dunia
    yang mendiam
    di dalam hatiku
    kerana di situ
    tidak kumampu
    mengumpul dua cinta




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